Your tits are I can't wait for
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
