so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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