I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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