With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
