After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
