you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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