She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
