Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
