Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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