First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
