The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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