It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
