my room smells like sperm. sweet.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
