The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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