i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
