i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
