Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
