Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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