Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
