I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
this just has baby written all over it
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
