girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
