Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Randomize
