PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
