Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
