He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
