lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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