i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
