Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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