Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
