there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
