I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
