Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
