Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
