I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
