Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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