Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
soo... how was my night?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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