Sry I called you an 8
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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