Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
