Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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