Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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