Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I look better un-naked...
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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