Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
