I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
