Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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