Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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