I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
