i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Randomize
