My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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