**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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