Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
